To find a groom for your daughter, first sit with her and agree on what she wants. Then make one clear biodata and spread the word through relatives and one matrimony site.
Check each proposal in a fixed order: the biodata, then the horoscope if your family matches one, then a phone call, and only then a meeting. Keep a simple sheet of every rishta (proposal) so nothing gets mixed up.
The same steps work when you are looking for a bride for your son. Swap the words and the rest holds.
Start with What Your Daughter Wants
The search goes faster when parents and daughter want the same thing. Have one long, calm talk before you tell a single relative.
Ask her, and write the answers down:
- Is she ready now, or after a course, a job change or a promotion?
- Which cities would she move to, and which would she not?
- Does she want to keep working after marriage?
- What age gap is she comfortable with?
- Does a horoscope match matter to her, or only to the family?
- Is there someone she already likes? Ask gently. It is better to hear it now than after a roka.
Agree on three or four must-haves and let the rest be open. A list of fifteen conditions will leave you with no proposals at all.
Make a Clear Biodata
Every family you contact will ask for the biodata first, usually on WhatsApp. It should fit on one or two pages and have a recent photo and her education and job. Add family details, and the horoscope details if your family uses them. Our marriage biodata format page lists every section in order.
Leave out her Aadhaar number and the full house address. Town and area are enough until you know the other family.
You can make your daughter's biodata here, with the fields already set out, and download it as a PDF or JPG. Show it to her before sending it anywhere. It is her biodata.
Where Parents Find Matches Today
Use two or three channels together. Each one reaches different families.
| Channel | How to use it | Good to know |
|---|---|---|
| Relatives and family friends | Tell five or six trusted relatives, and send them the biodata | Matches come with someone who knows the family |
| Community or samaj | Ask at the sangam or the community WhatsApp group | Some communities hold a parichay sammelan (introduction meet) |
| Temple or community notice boards | Ask the office if they keep a register | Mostly local families |
| Local marriage bureau or broker | Meet the person, ask the fee and what it covers, and take a receipt | Ask how they check the families they send |
| Matrimony site | Make one profile, test it free for two weeks before paying | Our guide on choosing a matrimony site helps |
| Colleagues and friends of your daughter | Let her ask in her own circle if she is comfortable | She knows these people herself |
Do not post her biodata with the photo in large open groups. Send a short text there and share the full biodata on request.
The Order of Checks
Checking in a fixed order saves time and avoids awkward meetings that should never have happened.
- Read the biodata. Do his age and job fit your daughter's must-haves? Is the city one she would move to?
- Show it to your daughter. If she says no to the photo or the profile, stop there, politely.
- Match the horoscopes, if your family does. North Indian families often use gun milan, scored out of 36. Tamil families check the 10 poruthams. Our guide to kundli milan for marriage explains the method.
- Ask around, without fuss. A relative in his town, or someone at the same company, can tell you what no biodata says.
- Phone call between the parents, then between the boy and girl.
- Meet with both families, at home or at a temple in town.
- Talk again before any yes, about work and where they will live. Talk about money too.
Our list of questions to ask the boy's family helps with step 7.
Settle the dowry question early and clearly. Under section 3 of the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961, giving or taking dowry is punishable with at least five years in jail. A family that hints at it is showing you who they are.
Manners with Other Families
How you deal with other families matters, because the marriage world is small and word travels.
- Reply to every biodata, even if the answer is no. A week is a fair time.
- Say no gently and without detail: "We feel it may not suit. We wish you the best."
- Do not talk to two families about meetings at the same time without telling your daughter. Move one proposal at a time once meetings start.
- Do not share another family's biodata with anyone without asking.
- Be on time for meetings, and do not bring a large group the first time. Four or five people is enough.
- Ask the same questions you would like to be asked, no more.
Keep an eye out for fraud too, especially with profiles from abroad. Our page on matrimony fraud lists the warning signs.
Keep Track of Every Proposal
After a month you may have 20 biodatas on your phone, and it is easy to call the wrong family by the wrong name. Keep a simple sheet, in a notebook or on the phone.
| Column | Example |
|---|---|
| Date received | 12 October 2026 |
| Boy's name and age | R. Karthik, 29 |
| Came through | Meena aunty, Trichy |
| Job and city | Software engineer, Bengaluru |
| Horoscope | Matched, 7 of 10 poruthams |
| Daughter's view | Wants a call |
| Next step | Father to call on Sunday |
| Status | Open, on hold, closed |
Close each row with a reason, in a word or two. When a relative asks six months later, you will know what happened.
For how the whole process runs from first biodata to wedding, read our page on the arranged marriage process. More guides for parents are in our arranged marriage section.
Common questions
How to Find a Good Groom for My Daughter?
Agree on her wishes first and make a clear biodata. Use relatives and one matrimony site together, check each proposal in the same order every time, and let your daughter decide.
How to Find a Bride for My Son?
The same way. Start with what your son wants, make his biodata, use the same channels, and follow the same order of checks.
Where Do Parents Find Matches Today?
Through relatives and community groups first. Local bureaus, temple registers and matrimony sites add more names, and using two or three of these together works best.
How to Involve My Son or Daughter in the Search?
Talk before you start, agree on the must-haves, and show every biodata to them before you reply. Let them talk to the other person on the phone before any meeting is fixed.
How to Keep Track of All Proposals?
Keep one sheet with a row for each proposal: the date, the name, who sent it, the horoscope result, your child's view and the next step. Update it after every call.
Sources
Related Guides
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