Bohra Wedding Rituals in Order

A Dawoodi Bohra wedding moves in three stages. First the proposal (mangnu) and the betrothal (nisbat), when the families exchange misri (sugar crystals). Then the nikah, which in most Bohra families is read through the jamaat after the family takes raza, the permission given on behalf of the community's leader, the Dai al-Mutlaq.

Then the shaadi rasams at home: mandwo, mehendi, the procession, the bride's arrival in her new home and the walima, with guests eating together from a shared thaal.

Customs differ between families and cities, and the jamaat office is the right place to ask about your own.

About the Community

The Dawoodi Bohras are a Shia Muslim community of the Musta'li Ismaili Tayyibi tradition. Their leader is the Dai al-Mutlaq, at present Syedna Mufaddal Saifuddin, the 53rd Dai, as the community's UK website describes. Local life runs through the jamaat in each town, led by an amil appointed by the Dai.

Most Bohra families in India live in Gujarat, Maharashtra, Madhya Pradesh and Rajasthan, with large communities in Mumbai, Surat, Indore, Ujjain and Udaipur. The home language is Lisan ud-Dawat, which grew from Gujarati with many Arabic, Urdu and Persian words, so most ritual names below are in that language.

Mangnu and Nisbat, Before the Nikah

Mangnu is the formal proposal. The boy's family visits the girl's home to ask for the match. Many families go in a small, fixed party and take sweets.

Nisbat is the betrothal. The two families sit together, the match is confirmed, and misri is given to the boy and the girl as the sign of the nisbat. In many families this happens in the presence of a representative who gives the nisbat on behalf of the jamaat.

After nisbat, the boy and girl are engaged but are not yet treated as mahram (permitted to be alone together). That changes only at the nikah. The months after nisbat are full of visits between the two homes and exchanges of gifts, which families call hadiyah or reet.

Most of these matches begin the usual way, with families exchanging a biodata that names the jamaat and the city. Our guide to the Dawoodi Bohra marriage biodata covers what goes on it.

Raza and Misaaq

Raza means permission. In Dawoodi Bohra practice, the family seeks raza for important steps, including the nikah, through the jamaat. The date and the arrangements for the nikah are usually fixed after this.

Misaaq is the oath of allegiance a Bohra takes at the age of maturity, promising to follow the faith under the Dai.

Many jamaats expect both the bride and the groom to have taken misaaq before the nikah is read. If one partner is not from the community, the family should speak to the jamaat office early, because the rules for such marriages are set by the community, not by the couple.

The Nikah

The nikah is the contract at the heart of the wedding, as in every Muslim marriage. The offer and acceptance are spoken, the mehr is fixed, and there are witnesses. In most Bohra weddings the nikah is read by the amil or by a person authorised by the jamaat.

The groom usually wears a white kurta and saya with the Bohra topi (a white and gold cap). The bride often wears a rida in her colours of choice, or a bridal outfit in the family's style. Many Bohra nikahs are held at the masjid or the jamaat hall, and some at the home.

Our pages on the nikah ceremony and mehr in Islam explain the parts that Bohra weddings share with other Muslim weddings.

The Shaadi Rasams

After the nikah come the family rasams. Not every family does all of them, and the order can change. The ones you will hear of most often:

These names are as listed by families and community writers. If you are hosting, ask the elders in your own family which ones you keep and in which order.

The walima is shared with all Muslim communities. Our page on the walima explains its meaning.

The Thaal at a Bohra Wedding

Food at a Bohra wedding is served on a thaal, a large round metal plate set on a stand. Guests sit around it on the floor and eat together from it. The community's UK website says members sit in groups of 8 or 9 at community events, and each course is served for the people around the thaal to share.

A few customs every guest should know:

1. Many Bohra meals start and end with a small pinch of salt, offered around the thaal.
2. Sweet and savoury dishes often come in turns, so dessert may arrive before the main course.
3. Wash your hands before you sit. Water and a basin are usually brought round.
4. Take only what you will eat. Wasting food from the thaal is frowned upon, and the community has made zero food waste a public cause.
5. Wait for the eldest at the thaal to begin.

Dishes at a wedding thaal often include malida, a kheer or sheer khurma, mutton or chicken in gravy, biryani or a pulao, and the famous Bohra kaari and dal chawal palidu. The menu varies by family.

Rasme Saifee Mass Weddings

Rasme Saifee is the name the community gives to mass nikah ceremonies, in which many couples are married together at one event. The community organises them in many cities, and they help families keep wedding costs low. Couples who marry at a Rasme Saifee may still hold their own family rasams and a walima afterwards.

Notes for Guests

1. Dress modestly. Women guests often cover their heads at the nikah. Men wear a kurta.
2. At the masjid or jamaat hall, men and women usually sit separately.
3. Gifts are often given in an envelope to the couple or the parents.
4. If you are not a Bohra, sit where the hosts guide you at the thaal and follow what others do.