A Gujarati wedding (lagna) runs in this order: chandlo matli and gol dhana (engagement) first, then mandap mahurat, pithi, a garba night and mameru in the days before. On the wedding day come the jaan and ponkhvu, madhuparka, kanyadaan, hasta milap, four mangal pheras, saptapadi and the blessings of seven married women. Vidaai, ghar nu laxmi and the aeki beki game follow.
Most Gujarati weddings take two to four days. The wedding itself is often held in the evening, though many families choose a daytime muhurat.
A Gujarati Wedding at a Glance
| When | Ritual | What happens |
|---|---|---|
| After the match is agreed | Chandlo matli | The bride's father puts a tilak on the groom and gives a pot of sweets |
| Weeks or months before | Gol dhana | Engagement with jaggery and coriander seeds, rings exchanged |
| A few days before | Mandap mahurat, Ganesh sthapana | Puja before the mandap is put up |
| 1 or 2 days before | Pithi | Turmeric paste on the bride and groom |
| Night before | Garba or dandiya raas, mehendi | Dancing for both families |
| Day before or wedding day | Mameru | The bride's maternal uncle brings gifts |
| Wedding day | Jaan, ponkhvu | The groom's procession, welcome by the bride's mother |
| Wedding day | Madhuparka, jaimala | The groom is honoured, garlands exchanged |
| Wedding day | Kanyadaan, hasta milap | The bride is given, the couple's hands are joined |
| Wedding day | Mangal pheras, saptapadi | Four rounds of the fire, then seven steps |
| Wedding day | Kansar, sindoor, mangalsutra, saubhagyavati ashirwad | Sweet fed to each other, blessings from seven married women |
| After | Vidaai, ghar nu laxmi, aeki beki | Farewell, welcome at the new home, a ring game |
Fixing the Alliance
Families usually exchange biodatas with the native village (gaam) and community, and some match the kundlis. Once both sides agree, the chandlo matli is held. The bride's father, with a few relatives, visits the groom's home, puts a chandlo (tilak) on the groom's forehead and gives him a matli, a steel pot filled with sweets and coins. It marks the start.
Pre-Wedding Rituals
Gol dhana. Gol means jaggery and dhana means coriander seeds. A mix of the two is handed out to guests at the engagement, the way North Indian families hand out sweets. The couple exchange rings and are blessed by five married women from the groom's side.
Mandap mahurat and Ganesh sthapana. Before the mandap is built, both families do a puja to Ganesh and the earth, and pray to their kuldevi.
Pithi. Pithi is a paste of turmeric, sandalwood and rose water, applied to the bride and groom at their own homes. Our page on the haldi ceremony covers how it compares with haldi in other states.
Garba and mehendi. Many Gujarati families turn the night before into a garba or dandiya raas, often with a live singer. The bride's mehendi is usually done the same day. Our page on the mehendi ceremony has planning tips.
Mameru. The bride's mama (maternal uncle) and his family bring gifts for her: traditionally the panetar saree, a set of bangles (chudo), and jewellery. The mameru is a big moment for her mother's family.
Wedding-Day Rituals in Order
- Jaan. The groom arrives with his family and friends, with music and dancing.
- Ponkhvu. The bride's mother welcomes him at the door with an aarti, and playfully tries to catch his nose, a reminder to stay humble before the bride's family. The groom breaks a clay pot (samput) with his foot before stepping in.
- Madhuparka. The groom's feet are washed and he is given a drink of milk, honey and curd.
- Antarpat and jaimala. The bride is brought in, often by her mama, behind a cloth (antarpat). When it is lowered, the couple exchange garlands.
- Kanyadaan. The bride's parents give her hand to the groom.
- Hasta milap. The bride's and groom's hands are joined, and the end of her saree is tied to his scarf.
- Mangal pheras. The couple walk around the fire four times. The four rounds stand for dharma, artha, kama and moksha. In most families the bride leads the first three, and the groom leads the last.
- Saptapadi. The seven steps, often by touching seven small heaps of rice or betel nuts with the toe. Our page on saptapadi meaning explains why Gujaratis take four pheras and seven steps.
- Kansar. The couple feed each other kansar, a sweet made of wheat, ghee and jaggery.
- Sindoor and mangalsutra. The groom applies sindoor and ties the mangalsutra.
- Saubhagyavati ashirwad. Seven married women from the bride's family whisper a blessing in her ear, wishing her a long married life.
Post-Wedding Rituals
Vidaai. The bride leaves her parents' home. In many families she throws rice or kumkum behind her as she goes.
Ghar nu laxmi. At the groom's home the bride is welcomed as Laxmi, the goddess of wealth. She kicks a pot of rice over the threshold and enters.
Aeki beki. A ring and a few coins are dropped into a bowl of water with milk and kumkum. The bride and groom search for the ring together, usually seven times. Whoever wins four rounds is said to rule the house. Nobody takes the result seriously, though cousins remember it for years.
Clothes, Jewellery and Food
| Bride | Groom | |
|---|---|---|
| Wedding saree | Panetar, a white or cream saree with a red border, from her mama | Dhoti and kurta, or a sherwani |
| Over the head | Gharchola, a red saree with gold checks, from the groom's family, placed over her head during the rituals in many families | Saafa (turban) |
| Jewellery | Chudo (bangles), gold set, nath | A mala in some families |
The menu often includes undhiyu in winter, puri, shrikhand, dal, rice, kadhi, farsan like dhokla and khandvi, and a sweet like mohanthal or basundi.
Auspicious Months and Muhurat
Gujarati families avoid Kharmas and the Chaturmas period for weddings, and many start the season after Dev Uthi Ekadashi and Tulsi Vivah in November. The muhurat comes from the family's maharaj (priest). You can look up the year's marriage dates for your city on Drik Panchang and then ask him.
These are customary Hindu rites, so a Gujarati wedding is valid under Section 7 of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955. Register the marriage afterwards.
A Few Gujarati Words, in Gujarati
| English letters | Gujarati | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| Lagna | લગ્ન | Wedding |
| Gol dhana | ગોળ ધાણા | Jaggery and coriander, the engagement |
| Mameru | મામેરું | Gifts from the maternal uncle |
| Panetar | પાનેતર | The bride's wedding saree |
If you are still exchanging biodatas, you can make a biodata in Gujarati here. The labels print in Gujarati script.
Common questions
What Are the Gujarati Wedding Rituals Step by Step?
Chandlo matli, gol dhana, mandap mahurat, pithi, garba and mameru before the wedding. On the day, jaan, ponkhvu, madhuparka, kanyadaan, hasta milap, four mangal pheras, saptapadi, kansar and the blessing of seven married women. Then vidaai, ghar nu laxmi and aeki beki.
What Is Gol Dhana?
The Gujarati engagement. Jaggery and coriander seeds are handed out, rings are exchanged and married women bless the couple.
What Is Mameru?
Gifts from the bride's maternal uncle, traditionally the panetar saree, bangles and jewellery.
What Is Ponkhvu?
The welcome of the groom by the bride's mother at the door, with an aarti and a playful attempt to catch his nose.
Why Do Gujarati Weddings Have Four Pheras?
The four mangal pheras stand for dharma, artha, kama and moksha. The seven steps of saptapadi are still taken separately.
Sources
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