To prepare for marriage as a man, start with your money and loans, then learn to cook and run a house. Get a health check. Talk honestly with your parents about boundaries, and with the girl about her work and where you will live. The legal minimum age for a groom in India is 21, under section 5 of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955. Being ready usually takes longer.
Most of this can be done in the three months between the engagement and the wedding. A 90-day plan is at the end.
From Son to Husband
The biggest change is not the wedding. It is that someone else now lives with your decisions.
In many Indian homes the son has never had to think about the rent, the gas cylinder or what is for dinner. His mother handled it. After the wedding, that work does not vanish. It moves to someone, and if you are not careful, it moves entirely to your wife, who may also be working a full day.
Ask yourself plainly: which jobs at home did I do last month? If the answer is "none", start there.
Money Readiness
Know your own numbers before you discuss them with anyone. Take-home salary, every EMI, every credit card balance, and what you send home each month.
Tell the girl about every loan before the engagement. An education loan or a car loan is ordinary. Hiding one is not.
Then do three small jobs:
- Check your credit score on any bureau's website. A home loan after marriage will depend on it.
- Close credit card dues you carry over month to month.
- Look at who the nominee is on your bank account, PF and insurance. Since 1 November 2025, banks allow up to four nominees on a deposit account, so you can add your wife without removing your parents.
If the wedding is costing more than your family can pay from savings, say so early. A wedding loan is a bad start. Our guide to financial planning before marriage has a first-year budget you can copy.
Household Skills a Man Should Learn
You do not need to cook like your mother. You need to be able to run a house for a week if your wife is sick or away.
| Skill | Good enough level |
|---|---|
| Cooking | Rice, dal, one sabzi or poriyal, eggs, tea. Five meals you can make without a phone |
| Groceries | Know what a month's ration costs and where to buy it |
| Laundry | Use the washing machine, iron your own shirts |
| Cleaning | Sweep, mop, clean the bathroom |
| Bills | Pay electricity, gas, internet and rent online, on time |
| Basic repairs | Change a bulb or a tap washer, and know which plumber or electrician to call |
Learn these from your mother, now, while you still live at home. She will be pleased. And your wife's family will hear about it.
Health and Fitness
Get a basic health check before the wedding. Blood sugar, blood pressure, thyroid, and a complete blood count are the common ones.
Many families also suggest that both partners get tested for thalassemia trait. The National Health Mission counts about 42 million carriers in India, and most do not know they are carriers. Our page on the pre marriage medical test lists the tests and how to raise them with the girl's family. Your doctor will tell you which ones you need.
If you smoke or drink heavily, this is the time to cut down. The girl's family will ask about it, and many biodatas have a line for it.
Family Boundaries and Expectations
The hardest part of marriage for many Indian men is standing between his mother and his wife. Prepare for it before the wedding.
Have one calm talk with your parents, in your own words. Your wife will be an equal member of the house, not a new helper. If they have a complaint about her, you will take it to her yourself, in private. And some decisions, like where you live or when you have children, will be made by the two of you.
Settle the practical questions too. Will you live with your parents or separately? If separately, how often will you visit, and on which festivals? Who will look after your parents as they get older, and how will the money for that be shared?
Do not promise the girl's family something your own family has not agreed to. "My mother will not mind if she keeps working" should be said only after you have asked your mother.
Our guide on how to deal with in-laws is written for after the wedding, but it is worth reading before.
Conversations to Have with Your Partner
In an arranged marriage you may get only a few meetings and calls before the wedding. Use them well.
- Her work. Does she want to keep working? In which city? Would you move for her job if it came to that?
- Where you will live, and with whom.
- Children. Whether, when and how many. Who will care for the baby if both of you work.
- Money. One joint account, separate accounts, or both. How much goes to each set of parents.
- Housework. Who cooks, who cleans, whether you will hire a cook or a maid.
- Religion and festivals. Fasts, temple visits, whose family's customs you will follow.
- Dowry. If anyone in your family expects it, tell them no. Demanding dowry is a crime under the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961.
Listen more than you speak. Our list of questions to ask before an arranged marriage has more, grouped by topic.
A 90-Day Plan Before the Wedding
Ninety days is roughly the gap between a nichayathartham or roka and the wedding in many families.
| When | What to do |
|---|---|
| Days 1 to 15 | Write down your money: salary, loans, savings. Book a health check. Start cooking two dinners a week at home |
| Days 16 to 30 | Talk to your parents about boundaries and living arrangements. Share your money page with your fiancee |
| Days 31 to 45 | Decide your own share of the wedding budget. Book your clothes. Do the medical tests if both families agreed |
| Days 46 to 60 | Plan where you will live. If renting, start looking at flats near both offices |
| Days 61 to 75 | Apply for leave. Book the honeymoon if you are taking one. Keep your age proof and address proof ready for marriage registration |
| Days 76 to 90 | Confirm vendors with your family. Sleep properly. Call your fiancee every day, even if only for ten minutes |
After the wedding, register the marriage. Under section 8 of the Hindu Marriage Act each state makes its own registration rules, so check with the registrar office in your district.
If your family is still at the stage of looking for a match, start with a clear biodata. You can make a biodata for a boy here with your education, job and family details. More guides are in our wedding planning section.
Common questions
What Should a Man Do Before Marriage?
Sort out his money and loans first. Then he should learn to cook a few meals, get a health check, and tell his parents how the house will work after the wedding.
What Should Grooms Discuss Before Marriage?
Her career and where you will live, children, money and housework. Talk about each family's customs too. Ask about dowry plainly and refuse it.
How Do You Balance Parents and Wife After Marriage?
Treat your wife as an equal member of the family, take any complaint about her to her in private, and make big decisions as a couple. Tell your parents this before the wedding, not after the first argument.
What Household Skills Should a Man Learn Before Marriage?
Enough cooking to make five simple meals, laundry and ironing, cleaning, buying groceries and paying the bills on time.
Shadi Se Pehle Ladke Kya Kare?
Paise aur loan ka hisaab saaf rakhe, ghar ka kaam seekhe, health check karaye, aur maa-baap se shaadi ke baad ke rules par khulkar baat kare. Yahi is page ki baat hai.
Sources
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