Remedies for Delay in Marriage, and How to Do Them Sensibly

The remedies families follow for delay in marriage fall into five groups. There are mantras such as the Katyayani mantra, and fasts such as Solah Somvar and the Thursday vrat. Then come pujas and charity, folk remedies such as those from Lal Kitab, and temple prayers like the kalyana parihara done in Tamil Nadu.

None of them comes with a guarantee. Most cost little, and they work best for a family alongside a better biodata and a wider search.

We describe what families do and where each practice comes from. We do not promise results, and you should be wary of anyone who does.

How Families Approach Marriage Remedies

Most families start with the family astrologer or jothidar, who reads the horoscope and suggests a remedy for the planet he sees as the cause. Saturn, Mars, Rahu or a weak 7th house each get their own suggestions.

Some families skip the astrologer and follow what elders at home have always done, like a Monday fast or a vow at the family temple. Both are common. The sensible rule is the same in either case: keep the remedy simple, keep it within the family budget, and keep sending biodatas while you do it.

Mantra Remedies

The best-known marriage mantra is the Katyayani mantra. It comes from the Bhagavata Purana, Canto 10, Chapter 22, verse 4, where the young unmarried gopis of Vrindavan worship the goddess Katyayani for a month and pray for Krishna, Nanda's son, as their husband. The verse and its translation are on Vedabase.

In Roman letters, the verse reads "katyayani maha-maye maha-yoginy adhishvari, nanda-gopa-sutam devi patim me kuru te namah". In plain words, the girls ask the goddess to make Nanda's son their husband, and bow to her.

Other mantras families use:

Ask the family priest for the right pronunciation and the number of repetitions. A mantra chanted with care at home costs nothing.

Fasting (Vrat) Remedies

Fasts for marriage are mostly kept by girls, though some families have boys keep them too.

Solah Somvar vrat is a fast on 16 Mondays in a row, kept for Shiva, with the Solah Somvar katha read each week. It is common in North and Central India.

Thursday (Guruvar or Brihaspativar) vrat is kept for Jupiter. Families who follow it often wear yellow that day and offer chana dal, turmeric or bananas. In a girl's chart, Jupiter is read as the husband's planet, which is why this fast is suggested for girls.

Mangala Gauri vrat falls on the Tuesdays of the month of Shravan. It is mainly kept by newly married women, though some families have unmarried girls keep it too.

Hartalika Teej is another fast kept by both married women and unmarried girls in many North Indian homes.

Keep fasts within the person's health. A girl with low blood pressure, diabetes, or exams that week should take the family's blessing for a lighter version, like a fruit diet in place of a full fast.

Puja and Daan Remedies

When an astrologer names a planet, the usual suggestion is a puja for that planet, often at a Navagraha temple, and a daan (gift in charity) linked to it. For Saturn it is often black sesame or mustard oil on Saturdays. For Jupiter, yellow items on Thursdays. For Mars, red lentils on Tuesdays.

Some astrologers also suggest a gemstone. Gemstones are expensive, and there is no fixed rule that one is needed. Ask for the reason in writing, get a second opinion, and never buy the stone from the same person who prescribed it.

Lal Kitab and Folk Remedies

Lal Kitab is a book of astrology and remedies written in Urdu in the 20th century, and its remedies are popular in Punjab, Haryana and Delhi. They are usually small acts, such as feeding a cow, keeping a particular item at home, or floating something in running water.

These remedies are folk practice, not part of the older Sanskrit texts. Many families follow them because they are cheap and simple. If one makes the family feel calmer, there is little harm in it. If it asks for something unsafe, or costly, skip it.

South Indian Remedies

In Tamil Nadu, families with a delay often visit temples linked to marriage. Two that come up again and again are Thirumanancheri near Kuthalam in Mayiladuthurai district, and the Nithya Kalyana Perumal temple at Thiruvidanthai on the East Coast Road near Chennai. Families do a kalyana parihara there and many return to the temple with the couple after the wedding.

In Andhra Pradesh and Telangana, families often do a Kalyanotsavam (a ceremonial divine wedding) at a temple as a vow. In Kerala and Karnataka, the family deity's temple is usually the first stop.

For chevvai dosham, the Tamil name for manglik dosha, families often do a parihara suggested by their jothidar. Our guide to delay in marriage explains how a dosham can also delay things in a plain way, by narrowing the list of families who accept the match.

Warning Signs of Remedy Scams and Costly Pujas

Most priests and astrologers are honest people doing their work. But remedies are also where families lose money. Walk away if you see any of these:

1. A promise of marriage "within 41 days" or any fixed time, for a fee.
2. A puja that costs tens of thousands of rupees, asked for in advance, with no receipt.
3. Pressure to decide today, or a warning that something bad will happen if you do not pay.
4. A request to send money by UPI to a stranger you met online, or through a link.
5. A gemstone sold by the same person who said you needed it.

If you have paid money online to someone who turns out to be a fraud, call the national cyber crime helpline 1930 quickly, or file a complaint on the National Cyber Crime Reporting Portal. The portal asks victims of financial fraud to dial 1930.

Pair Every Remedy with a Practical Step

A remedy is something the family does in faith. A practical step is something the family does in the world. Do one of each.

A recent photo and a complete biodata do more for the search than most families expect. If yours needs work, pick a design and make a new biodata. It downloads as a PDF or a JPG image you can send on WhatsApp.

If the person who has to marry is tired, low or anxious after years of searching, a remedy is not enough. Tele-MANAS, the government's free mental health helpline, answers on 14416, as listed on the Tele-MANAS website.

Other hard situations, from family opposition to second marriage, are covered in our marriage problems section.